When the Carabao Cup quarter-final draw took place on 30 October, it set in motion a series of unfortunate events. Both Arsenal’s and Tottenham’s men’s teams were drawn at home, against Crystal Palace and Manchester United respectively. A week later, the dates of the fixtures were released, with Arsenal scheduled to host Palace on Wednesday 18 December and Tottenham playing the following evening, policing issues dictating that the north London sides cannot play at home on the same night.

The problem? Arsenal’s women were scheduled to play Bayern Munich at the Emirates Stadium in the Champions League on 18 December. Could the north London men’s fixtures swap dates? No, because Arsenal would have only one rest day before meeting Palace again on 21 December in the league. Could Arsenal host Palace on Tuesday 17 December? No, because Palace are at Brighton on Sunday 15 December, posing a similar problem. Meanwhile, Uefa regulations require the stadium to be available for the visiting team’s training and media obligations before Champions League fixtures. Could the Carabao Cup quarter-final be held in a different week? No, because between the end of the international break and Christmas Day, Arsenal play a midweek game every week. Can the Champions League fixture shift? No, because it must be played concurrently with Vålerenga v Juventus given it is the final round of group games.

The decision Arsenal have taken to solve the problem is to move the women’s team’s potentially crucial Champions League game away from the Emirates Stadium to make way for the men’s team. This poses problems too, tickets having been on sale for some time and the primary home of the women’s team until this season, Meadow Park, does not meet Uefa’s requirements for group fixtures.

An exemption could be sought, or the club could try to host the game at another ground such as the London Stadium, Brentford’s stadium or even Stadium MK. Arsenal and Uefa have said they are in talks.

The solution will require compromise, logistical trickery and Arsenal’s women’s team possibly sacrificing home advantage. The problem is no one’s fault. The solution, though, leaves a lot to be desired. Arsenal have been pioneers, attracting large crowds to the Emirates Stadium as they embarked on transferring the home of their women’s team there. The announcement that a minimum of 11 games would be played there this season was met with much fanfare.

When faced with this new, unusual and unlikely problem, Arsenal, and the various governing bodies and clubs involved, had a choice: to find a way to make sure the women’s team retain their place in their home for an important fixture for which tickets have been sold, forcing the men’s team to change the date or location of their game, or wash their hands of it.

They have chosen the latter, which has been criticised on social media by a layer of fans. The interim manager of the women’s team, Renée Slegers, defended the club before Friday’s WSL game against Brighton. “It’s been a very hard dilemma for the club, two great teams competing in competitions,” she said. “What Arsenal has been doing really well is pushing the growth of women’s football for a very long time. This is a bump on the road, but what Arsenal has done for women’s football over time is very strong.”

Prioritising the women’s team’s fixture would not have been easy. Mikel Arteta’s side might have needed to sacrifice home advantage, shifting to one of the aforementioned stadiums or even playing at Selhurst Park. Alternatively, the clubs could have requested that Brighton’s Sunday game against Palace be shifted to Saturday and Bayern be allowed to train and do media elsewhere, enabling Arsenal men to host Palace on Tuesday 17 December and Arsenal women to welcome Bayern on the Wednesday. This, too, would cause problems, with the Palace’s trip to Brighton having shifted from Monday owing to the possible cup fixture and the game being scheduled to be shown on Sky.

All of the options for the women’s team’s fixture remaining at the Emirates Stadium are far from ideal and would involve serious cooperation between Uefa, various clubs, the English Football League, the Premier League and broadcasters. But while moving the team away from the Emirates solves the issues for the men’s side, it has huge implications for the women’s, their fanbase and potentially their Champions League aspirations.

There has to come a time where all those involved recognise they have a responsibility to think beyond their individual interests and about the broader messages they send out when they make these decisions. When faced with such a litany of issues, where no solution is ideal, at what point does everyone involved go: is there an opportunity to create some good out of a sea of bad?

Arsenal have been attracting large crowds to their women’s games and have begun turning a profit on matches at the Emirates Stadium because they have shown, in hosting games there and patiently but ferociously promoting them, that they value the team and the product. In doing so, they have shown fans that they should too.

The reality is that this mess was an opportunity for all involved to go beyond paying lip service to the value of women’s football and its place in the football ecosystem; to say: women’s football should not play second fiddle, we value it, and we want you to value it too.

A decision such as that could have a seismic impact, not just on the various bodies involved but on society at large. Unfortunately, few in the men’s game seem willing to take a wider and holistic approach, recognising the power they have to create positive change, contribute to the growth of the women’s game and transform attitudes towards women.